central station Antwerp

This really puts a smile on my face every time i see it (and believe me it was sent to me many, many times)!!!!!
Central Station in Antwerp is a really beautiful building,a pearl in architecture.
But to me it is the place where they stole my bag in clear day light. Thank God i got it back...only without my money, my camera or my cell phone. But yes, the building is beautiful (did i mention this already?)and i think the dancing was just great!

goodbye

On Friday my dear dog Kaya passed away. We knew this goodbye was at our doorstep...

But i am sad anyhow... sad and grateful to have had a good friend like him.



I brought him to a cremation centre and some of my friends declared me insane to spend so much money on a dead dog. But it is a way of showing my respect to a noble soul, who was with me for 16 years.

Goodbye Kaya, wonder if we will meet again...but i will treasure your sweet memory.



This is his last picture taken the day before he died... with my reflection in his eyes.

And that is how he died with his "face" in my hands and with his half blind eyes staring at me... until his gentle heart stopped beating.



Goodbye, goodbye, be well there...

doll

Look what i made!
i was knitting this week (that is what grandmothers do, hahaha!) i knitted a skirt, a top,a bag with flower, a scarf, hat with flower and a coat for this little doll.
The dolly i bought in a Kringloopcentrum (recycling center) for 1 euro and the yarns were leftovers, less than 1 euro.
But i put in my expensive sparetime for a full week (at least 10 hours).
it made me so happy to be busy with my hands and meanwhile i could think, think....
like in meditation my thoughts came in my mind and left...again and again...again and again


So me happy, granddaughter happy....isn't life beautiful?

burf

Still singing for Sinterklaas while playing in the first snow.

singing

What fun!

He came, he came!!!!!!

And if you are sweet he really, really comes at night. We had first snow yesterday night, but still he came and brought some sweets and books.
Dank u Sinterklaasje!

Sinterklaas

It is Friday evening and as usual my granddaughter, Tineke stays the night.
End of November till 6 of December children are very excited because Sinterklaas and his friend Black Peter are wandering in the chilly nights on the roofs of our houses.
They bring sweets and toys for all the children that were sweet.
Tineke made a drawing of Black Peter and she put a carrot in her little boot, for the horse of Sinterklaas.
"But Tineke you didn't put anything for Sinterklaas himself in your bootie"
"Look oma, i put a sugar cube in my bootie, if Sinterklaas want to drink a cup of tea!"

... i did not ask who is going to make the tea? Hahaha!

"Sinterklaas kapoentje,

leg wat in mijn schoentje,

leg wat in mijn laarsje.

Dank u Sinterklaasje!!!!"

loyal friend

First of November i should have left for India. i delayed my trip with a few months because of various reasons.
Some of these reasons were located in India and well known. Problems that are almost solved...
But deep in me there were other reasons that were keeping me here, unknown reasons at that moment.
And last week one reason became clear when i went to the vet with my dog Kaya. My sweet and loyal friend is diagnosed with cancer.
There is no cure. So we wil not torture him with operations and treatments, we will give him his last weeks, months as comfortable as possible. Pain will be the benchmark. His pain.
There is no cure for my pain either, but that will not be the issue, i will be with him every moment.
My sweet and loyal friend...

wabi sabi and me

Did you notice that "wabi sabi" is suddenly all over the place?
It is in every paper, magazine, article etc... or is it me, only noticing now that the western world is discovering this ancient wisdom?
I discovered it a while ago, since i "dwell" in religions, in Buddhism, start practising zazen and so it was only natural that one day i was going to find wabi sabi.
And it fits me so well! It is the way i look at things, hear things, feel things. The way i am surprised by the beauty in so many things...and persons. It is so close to my motto:"If you can not see God in all, you can not see God at all"
I am a simple human being and i have very simple desires, simple wishes. i am not impressed by the big constructions in the world that everyone is supposed to admire. i look in detail, feel in detail. Beauty is in every corner of nature, in small and humble things.
And finally i found a term to cover how i look at the world. A term that expresses and suits my lifestyle.
My husband is teasing me that i finally found a term that gives a good excuse for my untidyness, for all my rubbish everywhere...
"But look at the beauty of it, dear" i said, but he was not impressed. Hahaha! Wabi sabi...

can not believe it!

i can't believe it....
it makes me sad and very upset...
rolmodels should be perfect, that is why they are a rolmodel, isn't it?
but they seem to be human like anybody else, with human worries and human stories.

and yet, they are still my rolmodels, because they seem to deal with their problems without loosing touch with Waheguru.
Waheguru, bless them both!

Dhanasri Mahhia Panjva

Aukhi ghari na dekhan daiyee apna birdh samalay,

Hath daye rahhay apnay kau sas sas pritpalay,

Prabh siyu lag rahiyo mera cheet,

Aadant Prabhu sada sahayee dhan hamara meet (rahau)

Mun bilas bhayay sahib kay achraj dekh badaee,

Har simar simar anand kar Nanak, Prabh pooran paij rakhaee (p. 682)

********

The Lord does not allow his servants to face their difficult hours alone;

this is His prerogative.

With His protecting hand, He takes care of His own

servants at every moment of their lives.

Let your heart remain attached to the Lord.

From the beginning of life to its end, the Lord is ever our Helper. How great is the Lord.

(pause and reflect on this)

As if witnessing the marvelous greatness of the Lord, my heart is delighted.

The Lord will protect the honour of those, who meditate on Him. (p.682)

the bad, the good and the lucky one

The bad one.

My identitycard, my driving licence, my 2 bank cards, my keys (all of them), my medical card, my union card, a lipstick, some coins, some paper money, my cell phone, my camera, a booklet on sikhism, my train ticket were all in my Italian leather handbag.
I was waiting for the train in Antwerpen and when suddenly our train was rerailed, someone stole my bag. I placed my handbag on top of my reed basket, which i bought in the Oxfam shop (if half of the worldpopulation can live with a reed basket instead of a briefcase, i can too).
How can someone be so stupid to put his/her bag like that? Me, moi, because i always have this terrible shoulder pain (going to the hospital on this awful check up again tomorow)!
So there i was with nothing left but my basket and the papers of the meeting i was coming from. And a few "thank-you-candles" that i bought and would come handy one day in my life.
For the very first time in my life i could not prove my identity, could not make a phonecall, not even buy a cup of coffee or go to the toilet, nothing, nada.
i felt like i was illegal in my own country.

The good one.

After being sent to several desks, even an unmanned police office, i had to go to window 10 to make a statement about my lost object. After i made it clear i had no friends or family in this city to give me a few euro's, i could not phone to anyone, the gentleman behind the counter said:
"Okay then i buy a ticket for you. Here is my account number and my name, please put it back on my account"
i was speechless, this nice guy saved me without even asking my name or address, with no guarantee he was ever going to have this money back????? i met a real good human being!
So that's why i bought a "thank-you-candle". Never realised i was going to use it so soon.
The good man refused it, but when i left it, he put the candle under the counter.

The lucky one.

I left on the next train and even before i was home my bag was found.
Without the money, without one bank card, without my cell phone nor my camera. So mr. Veryniceguy phoned to my husband to tell the news.
Next day we collected the bag in Antwerpen, i had no words enough to thank him. When we opened the bag, even "the thank-you-candle" was back in.
So i am a very lucky person to have met such a caring person!!!!

And i am even luckier; i got someone's old cell phone and.... i get a new camera for Mother's Day!!! A new one of my own choice!!!

So hopefully the thief does something useful with my money, make a sweet phonecall to someone who loves him, make a beautiful picture of the moon...
But sorry i blocked my bank card.
You can't have it all mr. thief.

strong women

The other night i went out with my friend M. to have dinner. She survived breastcancer three times. It had her changed of course. It had us, her friends, changed. Of course.
But she is alive and enjoying life, though life does not always brings what she wants. She learned to accept; she is a stong woman.


On Saturday morning i went to the market to buy some fruit, when i met the parents of my friend L.. They are looking great, both in their eighties, but still active and full of life. I name them mummy and daddy, just like my friend L. When we talk, i can see their eyes exploring my face, hanging into my eyes. I can read their minds:"She could have been like this, going to the market with her granddaughter to buy some fruit. She could have been like this."
Because my friend L. lost the battle against cancer, she died 17 years ago. She was such a strong woman.


"I need some strong women" my friend G. said, " strong women to carry me when i am weak and unable to carry this myself!".
"Count on me, i will be there!" i answered.
"It's a very agressive form and the doctors don't know if they can or how they can stop this."
G. is such a strong woman, she lost her husband, her mother, a dear friend and her beloved son in very short time. Still she is a pilar to so many people, she is the one to uplift others.
She is such a strong woman, but this struggle will be a hard one, she is going to need as much support as possible. So she deserves strong friends.


Waheguru, Waheguru, make me strong in difficult moments. For her.

too many funerals...

my generation is the generation that seems to go the cemetry every month, sometimes every week....
suddenly all these strong fathers and mothers are leaving this world... hopefully finding peace and bliss when they merge into Waheguru.
i accept death, i know it is white and light, it is not something to be afraid of.
but it is the sadness of all family members or friends that are left orphaned, that upsets me.
too many funerals...

Saranjami lagu bhavjal taran kai

Prepare yourself to swim across the fearful life's ocean

do not waste life by dabbling in colourful illusions.

(Guru Arjan Dev)