Wednesday, August 30, 2006


it is not love
it is how it's played

it is not love
it is how you keep staring
at the injured ceiling
and i at you

it is how you are leaving me
and yet will stay

it is how you repeat
our simple gestures
how we there lay

Sunday, August 27, 2006

that's the question....

must i do that?

must i do that?
must i do that?
must i do that?
must i do that?

thanks X, sometimes yes, sometimes no.
but it helps, sure.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

ghost in a broken machine

The title of this post is with courtesy to Solarider, Gilbert Ryle and Renè Descartes (what an impressive list! speaking of name dropping)
Actually the title would be more accurate: "A simple mind in a broken machine". A simple mind refers to my ...eeeuuuh simple mind. And the broken machine to my poor body, that is refusing to heal.
After the spring finger operation (still seeing my kineatherapist several times a week), i am now suffering of carpal tunnel syndrome (wrist).
For the moment being i had a cortisone injection, but it will turn out to a new operation (once my rheumatologist is back from his congress).
And next...? probably i will enjoy a tennis elbow, then something with my shoulder and then finally they will do something about my brain!:-)
Can't wait for this last operation.... :-)

It is all in His hands...His play is mysterious. What is He trying to say?

Sadho eh tan mithiya jano

Guru Tegh Bahadur

This body is a lie, O Seers,
The spirit of God within the only truth.
Why do you wallow in sweet illusions,
Why are you attached to worldly possessions
When nothing will go with thee?
Put away all thoughts of praise or blame,
And fix your mind on His glory.
In every heart dwells the Perfect One,
Says Nanak, know him as the Lord.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

avauh bhainey gal milauh ank saheladeeah

Come my sister
Let us embrace!
Come beloved friend
Let us speak of love!
Let us sit together
And talk of our Husband
Our perfect, powerful Lord.
Lord, Thou art the Truth,
Thou, the repository of goodness,
We the repositories of evil,
Thou art the Creator
And all is within Thy power.
By Thy One Name we abide
When Thou art there
Why need we think of anyone beside?
Go ask the happy spouse,
"What virtues earned you favour od the Lord?"
(she will tell thee)
"It's the gentle path of sahaj, calmness of manner
and sweetness of tongue."
If you hearken unto the guru's word
You will meet your Husband, the Lord of Love.

Manifold is Thy nature, Great is Thy bounty
Manifold Thy creatures who praise Thee day and night.
Manifold Thy shapes and colours
Manifold Thy races and castes.

On meeting the true guru
One gains knowledge of the truth
Then one merges into the Truthful One.
From the guru's teaching we learn the fear of the lord.
From comprehension of the truth we gain honour.

O Nanak! Truth is the king of kings
He taketh us and unitethus with Him.

written by Guru Nanaktranslated by Khushwant Singh

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Do not go to the garden of flowers

by Kabir (15th Century)
English version by Rabindranath Tagore

Do not go to the garden of flowers!
O friend!go not there;
In your body is the garden of flowers.
Take your seat on the thousand petals of the lotus,
and there gaze on the Infinite Beauty.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Do not go to the garden of flowers

Kabir (15 th Century)
translated into English by Rabindranath Tagore

Do not go to the garden of flowers!
O friend! go not there;
In your body is the garden of flowers.
Take youe seat on the thousand petals of the lotus,
and there gaze on the Infinite Beauty

Wednesday, August 09, 2006


Last night i was driving home from X. We did not see each other for a while and so we had loads of things to tell. She told me about her holiday and new plans in life. And i told her about my chaotic life of this moment and all the questions that were turning in my head. So when i left her i was still very excited with all the news and could feel the adrenaline speeding through my body.
i was listening to Snatam Kaur's sweet voice, i like to listen to kirtan in my own little space on wheels.
Just before i took the last turn to my hometown, the full moon appeared and reflected her light on the road. I was alone on the road, since the last car i saw, overtook me long time ago.
There she was hanging in the sky with her gentle light, like a swollen chapati, very close, very big.
And i suddenly had this great feeling of oneness: the full moon, the night, kirtan and me, almost being home. Ek Ongkar. It was an overwhelming momemt of peace!
It feels great comimg home...
It feels great comimg Home...

Monday, August 07, 2006

It felt like drifting on the ocean. i needed orientation and was not able to handle it on my own.
There is an old Indian saying that states: "When a student is ready, the teacher will appear".
And so it happened, i found my teacher and he accepted me as his student. It made me very happy.
So -as a start- in November i will enjoy his guidance for a full weekend. I will actually meet him then. Until now we only mailed and i heard him on the phone: i am very senstivive to "the color" of voices: i liked his voice right away.
He will guide me on a meditation training, my teacher is a catholic monk who meditates in zen tradition.
Guru Nanak said:" There is no Hindu, there is no Mussalman" and to my feeling and understanding he says as well, there is no Christian or Buddhist, not even Sikhs (as a religion).
I think he meant we are all sikhs (students, followers) on our way to the same God.
So my teacher is a zenmaster with Christian roots and i am a sikh with Christian roots, but i do not feel there is any contradiction in what we both believe. I am so grateful that he appeared on the right moment in my life.
My cyber sangat gave me (probably without their knowing) a lot of support. And for that i am very grateful too, but somehow it didn't seem enough. And now he will take me under his spiritual wings, isn't that amazing?
My friends asked me:"But isn't he going to convert you to Buddhism? Or pull you back into Catholicism?"
I am very sure that this will not be the matter, the universal path to God is shared with many traditions.
Waheguru! Waheguru!

Kon bheo mundia sanyasi

One man by shaving his head
Hopes to become a holy monk,
Another sets up as a yogi
Or some other kind of ascetic.
Some call themselves Hindus
Others call themselves Mussalmans...
And yet man is of one race all over the world,
Gos as Creator, and God as Good
God in His Bounty and God in His Mercy
Is all One God. Even in our errors
We must not separate God from God!
Worship the One God,
For all men the One Divine Teacher.
All men have the same Form.
All men have the same Soul.

Guru Gobind Singh Ji