my father

It is almost Christmas, the first Christmas without my father. The first Christmas without a tree full of lights in my parent's home. My mother says she has no reason to put a Christmas tree while papa is not around.
The death of my father is the most important happening this year. Even going to my beloved India is nothing, compared to that last day i (we) spent with him in the hospital.
My father was a wonderful man, humorous, sociable, caring and compassionate, Godloving and fair. Of course he had his weaknesses like everyone, but mostly he was just wonderful. He was a very loving father, a pillar for all his children.
When my parent's neighbour rang me that morning, i ran unwashed and uncombed to him. He was laying on the bedroom floor. The doctor was there and the ambulancepeople and the firebrigade. They had to evacuate him through the bedroom window, because the stairs where too narrow in the old house. He was unaware of this all.
When we arrived in emerency i said goodbye to him, his eyes were open then and i talked to him. The doctor said he could not hear or see me. But i knew he could. I said to him not to fear that God was with him, i thanked him for all his love. I assured that everything was allright, that God would take care of him. I prayed Mool Mantra. I said Waheguru, Waheguru.
When my family arrived i hold his hand full day, somehow they seemed to be a bit frightened. I prayed silently, my family is not sikh and i did not want to upset them (my family is roman catholic).
One by one all his functions, all his senses fell out. He died peacefully in the late afternoon. My family left and i stayed with him till he was cold and there was no light in the room anymore.
I kissed him goodbye, i kissed this empty body goodbye and thanked him again. He is with me eversince.
I went alone to India, but i was never lonely. I was never in any danger, because he was always with me. I do not miss him, because he is never so close as since he left his body. He is always with me.
My beloved dear father...