Wednesday, December 21, 2005

my father

It is almost Christmas, the first Christmas without my father. The first Christmas without a tree full of lights in my parent's home. My mother says she has no reason to put a Christmas tree while papa is not around.
The death of my father is the most important happening this year. Even going to my beloved India is nothing, compared to that last day i (we) spent with him in the hospital.
My father was a wonderful man, humorous, sociable, caring and compassionate, Godloving and fair. Of course he had his weaknesses like everyone, but mostly he was just wonderful. He was a very loving father, a pillar for all his children.
When my parent's neighbour rang me that morning, i ran unwashed and uncombed to him. He was laying on the bedroom floor. The doctor was there and the ambulancepeople and the firebrigade. They had to evacuate him through the bedroom window, because the stairs where too narrow in the old house. He was unaware of this all.
When we arrived in emerency i said goodbye to him, his eyes were open then and i talked to him. The doctor said he could not hear or see me. But i knew he could. I said to him not to fear that God was with him, i thanked him for all his love. I assured that everything was allright, that God would take care of him. I prayed Mool Mantra. I said Waheguru, Waheguru.
When my family arrived i hold his hand full day, somehow they seemed to be a bit frightened. I prayed silently, my family is not sikh and i did not want to upset them (my family is roman catholic).
One by one all his functions, all his senses fell out. He died peacefully in the late afternoon. My family left and i stayed with him till he was cold and there was no light in the room anymore.
I kissed him goodbye, i kissed this empty body goodbye and thanked him again. He is with me eversince.
I went alone to India, but i was never lonely. I was never in any danger, because he was always with me. I do not miss him, because he is never so close as since he left his body. He is always with me.
My beloved dear father...

4 Comments:

Blogger SikhsRus said...

I am sorry about your father passing away. Looks like you really miss him a lot. May Waheguru give you and family the strength to cope with his loss! Satnam. I read your comments on Gurmustuk Singh's blog and your are correct on everything about Punjabis being rude and not really following Sikhism with all of social problems you have listed. All I can say is that some of us Punjbis are just very ignorant about other cultures, religions, and even Sikhi and hopefully can be forgiven by other Gursikhs like yourself. I think people always look to blame others such as Indian Government, School system, Hindus etc. but I think the ultimate responsibility lies with the parents to teach real Sikhi to kids so they don't treat other people rudely. To me, people that have adopted Sikhi especailly kids represent it in its purest form.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005 10:50:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am very sorry about your loss. May you and your family find peace with each passing day. May your father's soul rest in peace. I understand your grief because parents are closest to our soul.

Thursday, December 22, 2005 3:12:00 PM  
Blogger Preet said...

He is closer to you now than ever - one with Waheguru.
I lost my beautiful Dad last year - he was very very dear to my heart. Believe me, I understand how you feel. (I have started a blog to chronicle his life and what he meant to me)
Forgive me, but I almost dont want to say 'sorry for your loss'. We are all Guruji's disciples, we belong to Him. God took what was His in the first place. Please forgive me for saying anything wrong.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006 1:52:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I understand you pain coz I'm a son of a wonderful father.Parents are a great blessing to a child. Loosing them is painful. I would agree with what preet has written, after all we are all his children.. But when I think of Parents, I feel they should live forever to see us happy and to look after us. We grow old and try to show that we are very clever.. today I feel how much pain I would have given to my parents when I used to show them that I'm smarter than them, because I know the world and that they are from the old times. I have to rectify all that before i cause any pain. Reading abt your dad, reminds me of my dad who had suffered a heart attack few months ago. He is fine now..God give every parent long life and and every child a great parent. Waheguru. Gurjot Singh Bedi

Wednesday, January 25, 2006 8:04:00 AM  

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