Sunday, April 15, 2007

my Guru Ji, my granthi and i

On Friday (the 13th of April) i went to our gurdwara Sangat Sahib. But the sangat was out somewhere in the world... the gurdwara was empty.
Our granthi K.Singh was doing Akhand Panth. i like the sound of Gurbani even i don't understand.
So i was sitting there with all my hundreds of thoughts going through my mind. I tried to keep my eyes open and stare at the carpet one metre before me (like i learnt in zen meditation), but my eyes wanted to close. It felt like if there was light outside of me, dark on the inside except for one little lit corner.
Keval Singh was still reading the Guru Granth Sahib and usually i start to cry overwhelmed by the power of Gurbani. But not this time....
Every word said gave me a soothing feeling. My mind was still restless, it was running around to remember something. You know this feeling when you can not remember a dream and then suddenly, during the day, something triggers your mind and you are about to remember it. You know this feeling?
Well it felt like that, but my mind could not find what it was looking for. So it seemed...
Suddenly i felt complety showered with light, inside, outside, i was radiant.
What did i remember? Being a sikh? Being His child? Being part of Him?
Vaisaikhi is always a difficult day for me, because i still not give my head, i am still not in bana...
But bani swept me of this world, nothing mattered at that moment, what i felt was peace.
Peace and all this light. I was in Him.

So it was Vaisaikhi for me. It really was.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, I too always feel similar feelings on this day. You are still luckier than me. I live where there is no gurdhwara sahib near by. I did recite Sukhmani Sahib and again prayed "Waheguru only with your grace I am eligible enough to be your Sikh ( with Bana and Bani).

Monday, April 16, 2007 2:21:00 AM  
Blogger Gman said...

I found it beautiful that as you sought something...as you felt so moved and unsettled you found yourself at the Gurudwara!!!!

I find that a beautiful thing!!! Some people that felt as you did, don't always end up communicating with their soul or Vaheguru... They sometimes get lost in worldly things that do them even more harm...

Sangat only takes two and it need not be someone else!!

There is a shabad that says that(loosely translated) "if you take on step toward me then I shall take 10 toward you..." I say keep on taking those steps because it sounds like, at the end of it all, you found what you were seeking!!!

Thank you for sharing and Happy Vaisakhi!

Monday, April 16, 2007 7:28:00 AM  
Blogger manpreet kaur said...

Sat Nam!

To Gman.That is why my little blog is called "Ek Penda". One step. My first step. And yes Guru Ji is taking thousands steps towards me.
Hope you had a nice Vaisaikhi too!!!!

To Anonymous. Sukhmani Sahib is so strong and powerful. And soothing at the same time...
I hope now and then you can travel to a gurdwara... anyway you are a part of the cyber sangat! For you too i hope you had a nice Vaisaikhi!

Monday, April 16, 2007 7:39:00 AM  

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